Healing Hurts…

shallow focus photography of woman's eyes

For some time now, the Holy Spirit has constantly whispered the words, “healing hurts” to my spirit. I heard it but it never really hit until I was faced with the depth and reality of these two powerful words. These two words can be filled with stories, pain, and more. The authenticity never hits until the story officially begins.

The past week for me has been interesting to say the least but good. Last Thursday morning I was rushed to the ER for an uncomfortable but not life threatening medical issue. After the nurses and doctors did what they could, I was later sent to an ENT who resolved the issue hours later. The following day, I was scheduled to have oral surgery and it has been a journey ever since. Thursday alone was a lesson for me. It truly taught me that there’s a process for healing and to get healing. Although healing is in store, you have to trust God and understand each phase and purpose of the  process.

The song, “Pretty Hurts” by Beyonce probably came to your mind reading this. That’s one song that came to mine. Beyonce talks about the struggles one must go through to achieve this level of beauty. The problem is the level of beauty that the individual goes through is filled with so much physical, mental, and emotional pain to achieve it. Yet, she ends each chorus with, “It’s the soul that needs the surgery.” Isn’t that something to think about? How often do we go through great lengths of pain and suffering to achieve something? For example, when going to school to get a degree, it can be a painful process. The workload and stress can be unbelievable combined with the debt and sleep deprivation can be a whirlwind of pain. We go through this long process to get the degree only to struggle finding a job and reaping the benefits of the debt we worked so hard to accumulate (or maybe it’s just me).

Where am I going with all of this?

Well, we often forget that just as much we go through pain in the natural world, there’s just as much pain in the spiritual world. Healing hurts people. The combined physical, mental, and emotional pain come together to wear on our spiritual lives. The weight of all three can become so heavy that they distract us from the bigger picture. Actually, we often forget there is a bigger picture or purpose coming from all of the combined pain. In the midst of the struggle, we are just thinking, “God where are you?  I need right now!!!!!!” It’s really interesting how during that moment of pure desperation, tears, and panic, we want God to step in immediately and BAM there’s the result. The natural world is filled with process and the spiritual world is filled process yet we forget about the process when it’s time for restoration and healing. Healing hurts people!

We must move forward with the process and trust God even when it’s super difficult. Here’s the process:


The first phase of the process is the anxiety/panic stage. You find yourself in disbelief over the situation. Fear has officially taken over your mind and body and all you want is the solution. You don’t want to wait or sit. You want answers and for the situation to be done immediately. There’s not a lot of peace during this stage and you try your best to pray, read your bible, and trust God but it interferes with your peace. Although you keep telling yourself that everything will be okay, your carnal mind and body immediately remind you of the current state of the situation.


The second phase of the process is the waiting period. Waiting 30 seconds or 3 minutes feels like an hour or two. Your mind races with so many thoughts and the more the situation continues or worsens, you want the results NOW! Just like a child anxiously waits to arrive to that final destination asking, “Are we there yet?” we are the same way with God.

We are constantly knocking on the heavenly door asking God when will the time arrive? When will we get the answers or the solution? How much longer? Although it feels like we as adults are far from children, we are seen as the same way in the eyes of God.

The Pain

The second hardest stage in the process is the pain. The pain is the distraction that causes you to forget about God. During this process, you forget about the process and His plan/the big picture. All you know is that you are in pain and it is uncomfortable. This process can be the most agonizing, hardest, and challenging stage to the entire process. Regrets begin to wash over your mind, you wish that this never would have happened, and hope that it will be over in a matter of seconds. It honestly feels like you are in a twilight zone or dreaming a nightmare. However, you fail to think about how much work God is doing during this stage. This is the stage where healing is beginning to take place. This is the part where restoration is being sprung from heaven in our natural laps where we will begin to see results.

Being Uncomfortable

Boy oh boy!! This stage can be draining. After overcoming the panic, waiting, and the pain, it feels like life is just getting worse be the second. On the flip side of the pain, lies the uncomfortable stage. It’s far better than the pain you just experienced and now you are in the midst of trying to find the comfort you once had before. Without realizing that God’s operation is now over, you are now transitioning into the healing phase. New thoughts and questions may arise as you finally comprehend what you just faced.


You’ve come so far and although you’ve faced so much, there’s still challenges, pain, and waiting. Why? Because you are in the healing phase. The healing phase is compiled of blood, sweat, tears, and a lot of patience. This is the season that you will feel may last a lifetime. People will come and go. Time will go by and yet you feel left behind and confused. The prayers of begging and pleading for God to come through will become more draining as you your mental and emotional state of mind is officially shot. Progression will take place, but it will come at a slow rate. You are constantly thinking to yourself how glad you will be when all of this will be behind you.

The Results

After all of the phases have come and gone, the finish line is within arm’s reach. You can see it. You can smell it. And you can taste the victory. You focus on how much you’ve been through and transition your journey into motivation to finish. You know you can do it and you can feel it in your spirit. Upon reaching the end, you’re relieved and finally take the breath of victory thanking God it’s over. You made it. Although it was a long process, you’re so proud realizing what you’ve faced. Finally, you tell your testimony to help someone else. Peace arises in your spirit as you face the new day of the new season. Because you have come so far, the future challenges that begin to arise don’t phase you because of your faith coming out of this difficult season.

So yes, there is a process. This process can be long and tedious, but it is worth the journey. There will be times when you get frustrated, cry, scream, and beg God to just handle the situation.

Remember, He has and will never fail you. Just like Jesus prayed from the place of fear sweating drops of blood, He trusted the process. And He has won the victory. Jesus is alive and living in you through the Holy Spirit. He’s got the victory so that means that you have the victory as well. Are you ready to receive it?


Life Changing Moment

I can definitely say that there were a few life changing moments that have captured my attention growing up. I was one who knew what death was at the age of four, saved by five, and had a another life changing spiritual awakening moment at 18. All of these moments served significance but I faced another life changing moment just about a week ago. The other week I had finished class and had to run some errands. There’s a particular road that gives me trouble when it comes to merging in traffic because you have to watch for two stoplight areas before pulling out. I almost got hit going this way before, but it was because of my mistake of not paying attention to the second traffic area. So this time when I came to merge, I looked straight back at the path where majority of the traffic comes from. Then I made sure to look at the area that gave me trouble last time. So I look back and look to the other area and look back again and slowly pull out. Now I didn’t notice how slow I was ago until I thought about this a few days ago. As I was pulling out, I had to be going about 15mph. And as a testimony as well, I don’t know why I was doing 15 but if I didn’t I probably wouldn’t be here right now. As I was slowly merging, the biggest silver truck came out of nowhere along with two others so close to the car I screamed. This truck was going at least 65 in a 45-50 mph a zone. I screamed and stopped immediately and looked and merged quickly into the lane.

To some or most of you, you might be thinking well stuff like this happens all the time or that I am dramatic right now. But for me, I am praising the Lord. You see it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized how life changing that could have been. If I would have pulled out, that trucked would have dragged me down the street, pushed me into the rail, or pushed me over the rail. If I would have pulled out, I would be in the hospital or possibly dead right now. If I would have pulled out, I could have been paralyzed, had broken bones, memory loss, brain damage only the Lord knows.

On top of all of this, true reality set in when a girl that I went to school died a a day or two later from an accident. This girl was the same age that I am now and went to the same school. I thought about how that could have been me. Whether you are a believer or a not, I wrote this to tell you that nobody is exempt from death.

In a matter of a few days I was still struck with all of this saying to myself God kept me through it all. Before I walk out the door everyday, I make it part of my routine to say a prayer and read Psalm 91. This is the reason why. You never know what you are going to face when you walk through the door. You never know what may happen even when you are at home feeling safe. You never know what may happen in the next two minutes. You never know what life may bring. And most of all, you never know what the devil will try to throw at you. This was a life changing moment because it made me aware. The more that I do my best to fulfill the purpose and plan that God has for me, the more that I continue to spread God’s love one heart at a time, the more that I read my bible, the more that I put God first in everything that I do, the more he will get mad. The more I try to do all of these things he will try to stop me.

I say all of this to be honest and tell you the truth. The devil does not want the best for you. He wants you dead. He wants you to be down, depressed, confused, ashamed, hurt, lost, and abandoned. He wants the absolute worse for you. I want you to know this. God has got your back more than you could ever imagine. God is aware of what the devil is TRYING to do to stop you from doing what’s RIGHT! I believe that is why He made His word to lead us and guide us through all of these moments. The devil tried to stop Jesus. He even had the audacity to try to pull some scriptures into his confused little brain of his to detour him. Jesus replied multiple times. God is aware of what you are going through. He is aware that the devil does not want the best for you.

Jesus came to save us from sins and all of the nasty, dirty, filthy, things that the world and the devil will try to stick on us. Jesus died on the cross and as long as we believe that he came, suffered, and died, everlasting life will unlock to us spiritually.

After this incident, I thought to myself how I don’t want my last moment on earth to happen on the day that I was too busy to pray or read my bible. I don’t want my last moment to be when I was not following my heart when Jesus is speaking to me. I don’t my last moment to be tending to something that God has not justified and predestined for me to be or do. Due to all of this, my life has changed once again. I thank God that he will save during moments like this but teach us as well. I know He sent his angels to watch over me, to lead me and guide me, to cause me to do something that I didn’t realize I did to save me. I keep telling HIM, “You saved me, you saved me!” I think of how that simple moment is just like when we take him into our hearts. When we first accept Jesus Christ into our lives, He saves us and never stops. That’s a life changing moment! Thank you Jesus for everything!!!!!

Thank you for the air I breathe.

Thank for the food I eat.

Thank you for the overwhelming love that you have for me.

Thank you for preserving me.

Thank you for protecting me.

Thank you for your grace.

Thank you for your mercy.

Thank you for your love.

And most of all thank you for saving me!!!!!!

The Value of Endurance

Psalm 136- “God’s mercy endures for ever”

The value of endurance lies within the walls of “I can’t go on” and “I have to keep pushing through.” If we look in the bible endurance is one of the things that most everyone had to deal with. Moses dealt with endurance when he had to constantly go to Pharaoh to let the Israelites go as well as travelling with the Israelites as they complained and during the journey. Job is another person in the book who had to endure through physical, emotional, and spiritual pain as he lost his family members, a major part of his stock, and when he had gotten sick. Finally, Jesus is the true definition of endurance when he dealt with the persecution of others and when he died on the cross for all of our sins. He endured with the weight of the world on his shoulders as he endured through as the supernatural and divine power stepped in.

Endurance is something that everyone will face as we walk through life. Endurance doesn’t come when things are going well. Endurance is born when we are faced with the challenges of life and have to persevere. Even in our most darkest moments when we feel like giving up, even in our moments when we feel like it is so easy to just let go, that’s when endurance is born. Endurance is born when we feel the weight of the world, when sweat is dripping down our face, when tears are streaming down our cheeks, when we don’t feel like waking up, when pain becomes attached to us. Endurance is born when we are in the midst of the storm. We will have to endure during life because Jesus endured.

We should strive to be more like Jesus. He endured and He is the source of our strength so we can endure. I know you can you and most of all Jesus knows that you can too.


For your darkest moments

Even during your most darkest days and moments in life just remember two things. One, nothing last forever. Darkness will eventually become light. That is exactly how God made it. Second, everything will be okay. It may not look like that now, but just keep that in the back of your mind. When things get hard, when you feel like giving up, when your back is against the wall, when the world condemns you, when you feel all alone, when you feel as though things will never ever get better, they will. Life can be hard. The devil may try to trick you into thinking that you cannot handle it. But the truth is…you can. God is right there looking after you, loving you, and will help you! Go to him, talk to him, give him everything and see how light your burden will be afterwards.

Praying for you!

“I’m right here!”

When you wake up and feel like a failure, or when you wake up and feel like broken glass shattered everywhere, this is for you.

God says, “My sweet child, connect with me. I’m right here. Call on my name, call on the name of Jesus and immediate peace will cover you. Call on my word, and immediate joy will cover you, and call on my presence and immediate love will flow through to you. I am with you everyday and every hour. You never face life alone. Close your eyes, listen for my voice. I will never leave you because I created you. I made you with the sound of my voice just like I made the earth. You are special to me. You are my original piece of work. My love is shared through you and your relationships. Smile even in the midst of your pain, sorrow, anguish, and hard days. Why? Because every problem, circumstance, situation, worry, and burden, is already taken care of written in the depths of my hands and paid on the cross. Smile, I want you to be happy. Read my word, I want you to know my truth. Look up, look to the sky, look beyond the sun, that’s where I am to watch you, love you, lead you, and guide you because most of all, I love you more than you even understand!”

I'm right Here!.jpg

Stop trying to hide it from me!

God says, “There are so many things that you are trying to hide from me. I know how you feel. I know your hearts desire. I want you to give me everything. Give me your pain, give me your sorrows, give me all of your emotions, give me your sadness, give me your weaknesses, give me your burdens, give me EVERYTHING! I am the one who can handle all of that. You cannot. You are not build for all of that pain and sorrows. I love you and will never let you go. So come to me! Empty your heart upon my feet.”

Jesus states in Matthew 11:28-30
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and burden is light.”

God says, “I’m watching you.”

God says, “My precious child, I’m watching you. I constantly have my eyes on your every move. I see you when you cry yourself to sleep, I see you when you get frustrated and want to give up. I also hear you. I hear your prayers when you say a prayer for that ambulance that passed by you at a stop light. I feel your pain when you lost your loved one. I feel your anger when you see someone disrespect my name. And I hear your thoughts when that coworker disrespected you about that deadline. I know you. I feel you. I love you. I will never leave you. I sent my son Jesus just for you! All of those worldly emotions, situations, and circumstances are only for a season. When you come with me all of that will no longer exist. In the meantime, look for me, look to me, look beyond the sun my sweet child. You will find me. Call on the name of Jesus, my spirit will come running to you to fill your heart with peace. My presence will come to surround you. I will come to carry you through. My love will hug you. And I, I will never leave you my sweet child.”

Make Him proud!

Every time that you call on the name of the Lord in your most deepest and darkest moments, you are making him proud. You are making your Heavenly Father so proud to know that his children know where to go and seek for true guidance and help. Life can get hard and WILL get hard if you’re not already there. All you have to say is, “I need you Jesus!” He hears your cries during the day and in the middle of the night. When your heart is weeping and you feel like falling apart, just call on the name of the Lord and He will come running to save you, carry you through, love you, and take care of you!

Let’s say it together, “We need you Jesus!!!”

“My sweet child, just look beyond the sun!”

For all of those that are on your knees crying at the side of the bed, this is for you! It will get better and there will be better days!

God says, “My sweet, sweet child, look to me, look for me, look beyond the sun. I am above waiting to hear your cries, waiting to dry those tears. I know things are difficult, but just know my heart weeps with you. Keep doing the right things, run to my word, run to my everlasting and unfailing love. I love and will never ever leave you.”