How many times have you bowed your head, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath only to say…nothing?
“Lord” you say looking up to the ceiling with water in your eyes. Your heart just melts as your emotions take the best of you.
You try to think of the words to describe how you feel but there’s nothing.
You can’t seem to find the words to describe your empty heart.
That’s exactly how you feel, empty. You feel that there’s nothing there. You try to say something but there’s nothing. You are drained from the roller coaster you’re on that you feel like all of your emotions just emptied out of your heart.
I remember going through this vulnerable season where I was speechless and my heart felt so empty. I tried to say my prayers and talk with the Lord. I distinctly remember grabbing the covers and pulling them to my neck. As I took a breath, I felt the misery just seep from my head to my toes. I was completely and utterly vulnerable.
It’s so interesting because you feel like that this season will last forever but it doesn’t. God eventually reveals that even during your moments of vulnerability, bitterness, and utter discouragement, He understands EVERYTHING.
Moments like this reminds me of when Jesus was about to be crucified.
Matthew 26: 36-46 KJV
36 Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.
37 And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.
38 Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.
39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
40 And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?
41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.
43 And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.
44 And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.
45 Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.
46 Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me.
Jesus’ heart was heavy and I believe He probably did feel empty. I interpret this from the scripture because He kept going back to pray. I find myself doing this same thing when I feel heavy and empty. I keep going back. I keep seeking God. I keep praying. And I believe this comes from the guidance of Jesus in this passage.
That’s why the song above, “The more I seek you” is the song of the day. It’s the perfect description of the desire just to be close with Jesus. “The more I seek you, the more I find you. The more find you, the more I love you.” Those words capture me every time my heart feels empty. The more I seek God in these moments, the more I find him. And the more I find him, the absolute more I love him. I want to add to that part. The more I love him, the more I praise him. The more I praise him, the absolute more I want to serve Him.
It turns out that when you KEEP seeking God, you will find Him. The emptiness will diminish and the Holy Spirit that is already within you takes over. Words will begin to form in your heart, peace will begin to take over your spirit, and joy will begin to take over you!