Seeking God w/ an Empty Heart

 

How many times have you bowed your head, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath only to say…nothing?

“Lord” you say looking up to the ceiling with water in your eyes. Your heart just melts as your emotions take the best of you.

You try to think of the words to describe how you feel but there’s nothing.

You can’t seem to find the words to describe your empty heart.

That’s exactly how you feel, empty. You feel that there’s nothing there. You try to say something but there’s nothing. You are drained from the roller coaster you’re on that you feel like all of your emotions just emptied out of your heart.

I remember going through this vulnerable season where I was speechless and my heart felt so empty. I tried to say my prayers and talk with the Lord. I distinctly remember grabbing the covers and pulling them to my neck. As I took a breath, I felt the misery just seep from my head to my toes. I was completely and utterly vulnerable.

It’s so interesting because you feel like that this season will last forever but it doesn’t. God eventually reveals that even during your moments of vulnerability, bitterness, and utter discouragement, He understands EVERYTHING.

Moments like this reminds me of when Jesus was about to be crucified.

Matthew 26: 36-46 KJV

36 Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.

37 And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.

38 Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.

39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

40 And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?

41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.

43 And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.

44 And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.

45 Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.

46 Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me.

 

Jesus’ heart was heavy and I believe He probably did feel empty. I interpret this from the scripture because He kept going back to pray. I find myself doing this same thing when I feel heavy and empty. I keep going back. I keep seeking God. I keep praying. And I believe this comes from the guidance of Jesus in this passage.

 

That’s why the song above, “The more I seek you” is the song of the day. It’s the perfect description of the desire just to be close with Jesus. “The more I seek you, the more I find you. The more find you, the more I love you.” Those words capture me every time my heart feels empty. The more I seek God in these moments, the more I find him. And the more I find him, the absolute more I love him. I want to add to that part. The more I love him, the more I praise him. The more I praise him, the absolute more I want to serve Him.

It turns out that when you KEEP seeking God, you will find Him. The emptiness will diminish and the Holy Spirit that is already within you takes over. Words will begin to form in your heart, peace will begin to take over your spirit, and joy will begin to take over you!

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Oh How My Big Papa Loves Me So

family people parent father dad baby kid child sunlight sun cute sweet silhouette lake river sea ocea clouds sky

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. I was the usual little girl that would run to the door when she heard the door open. I was that little girl that sat on her daddy’s lap until I was too old and heavy. I was that little girl that loved to run errands and play basketball with him. One thing that touches me even today is that as long as I want something and my dad can make it happen, it will be done. If it’s in reach, I know I got.

The same way that applies to any child and their father, God works even better. He says, “If I think it’s best for you to have, you can have whatever you like. You’re my child, my baby. I got you.” Whether you have an earthly father or a no father at all, I want you to know that you have a Heavenly Father that wants to fulfill your heart’s desires. He knows what’s best for you. Most of all, He will definitely give it to you if He feels that it’s it’s for you to have.

Yes I refer to Him as…Big Papa. Why? Because the same way a child runs to their dad or granddaddy, I would imagine this relationship to be even better. We run to Him. We run to Him when we’re alone. We run to Him when we’re down. We run to him when we’re happy. We run to him when we’re sad. We run to Him when we’re scared. And we run to Him when there’s nothing else that we could possibly say or do to fix a situation or feel better about one.

He’s a BIG GOD. He’s an omnipotent God. He’s a God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He’s a God filled with love, mercy, and kindness. He’s a forgiving God. He’s a God that loves you no matter how many mistakes you have or will make. He’s a God of creation and the author of true love. He’s a God of truth and a God of refuge. He’s a great God. There are a lot of things He protects us, shields us, and delivers us from. We have no idea what we could have faced, but He saved us from it.

He’s our papa because we can go to Him for anything. There’s nothing that He can’t handle. He knew that we would mess up from the beginning of time. So, He gave us Jesus. He knew that we needed to be saved so He introduced us to the cross where Jesus shared His blood for us. He shows us the value of forgiveness every time we repent. He shows us that He loves us with the abundance of blessings that we have. He corrects us as we make mistakes. He talks to us. He comforts us. He LOVES US!!

Take that into consideration the next time you pray. Tell him how much you love Him. Let Him know how thankful you are to know Him and be His child. Say to yourself, “I Have a Big Papa that loves me!!”

I Just Don’t Know!

 

Whether you are in a happy mood or if you are a mess right now, I think that this song will replenish your spirit. Sometimes we just need to lay on our faces and just let God know what’s on our hearts. There will be days when you feel so close and tap into His beautiful presence ready for treasures to be unlocked. Other days, you will feel empty with no words to describe how you feel. No matter what you’re going through, God knows exactly what you’re going through. You don’t have to be angry just because you can’t describe how you feel just focus on Him. When you focus strictly on His presence, you find yourself praising and worshiping and trying to understand HOW you got there. This has happened to me so many times. I was so confused but excited because I knew that He knew what I was going through and sent His Holy Spirit to help me get to where I needed to be! My God is so awesome!!!

God I’m so Tired!!!!

God's Child

If you are reading this, you could be in a great mood just scrolling through different blogs like this one. On the other hand, you may have found this blog out of desperation as you constantly google and search for something to give you some type of encouragement. You are probably feeling alone, left behind, voiceless, and ashamed. Or maybe you are feeling in one the happiest moods full of life, laughter, and just awesomeness. As I am writing this, I can tell you that I’m not feeling really motivated. As I was writing in my journal, a thought came to my mind, “Why do I feel so down when I have everything I need, I got sleep last night, and today was okay?” I don’t know. It’s just one of those days.

One thing that I do know for sure is that no matter how you feel, you will always be God’s child. You can make one billion and one mistakes. You can cry yourself to sleep every night. You can look in the mirror and feel like the world’s biggest failure, but God doesn’t see you that way. For every imperfection the world may acknowledge, that is one more thing that makes you the perfect child in God’s eyes. He loves you. He cares for you. He sent his son, Jesus to fulfill the most wonderful mission one could ever fulfill. His son died just for you and me. As we face these hard days and feel like nothing, there is a God looking straight down from heaven saying, “My child is something.” He finds you so beautiful. You are a creation that He is proud of. He smiles when He looks at you. When you hear God’s voice, peace should overwhelm your heart. For every tear you shed, His heart weeps. Why? Because you are God’s child. When your heart feels low, He feels your pain. When you look down at yourself, He says, “My child should see what they mean to me.” You mean the world and more to God. If not, He would not have given His word, His son to shed blood for us, and His love would not have been expressed as it was. You are God’s chosen child. A special, anointed, blessed child in His eyes and that is all that should matter.

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all dads including our Heavenly Father who is the reason why I am here and so are you. Whether you know/have your earthly father or not always remember you have a Heavenly Father. He is one that will never lie, chastise, or stay angry. He created the world and best of all created grace for all of us. And most of all, when we make Him proud there should be a sense of peace in all of us as we walk the path of obedience knowing we are doing right by Him. Be proud, you have a daddy. You may not see him, but you can hear him and feel him 🙂

God’s beauty and love

Happy Resurrection Day!! Today has truly been the day that the Lord has made. I’m so glad to serve a Savior who shed His innocent blood to unlock easy access to the Kingdom. My Jesus is what keeps me going and my Jesus is the reason I am alive today. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me AND rising that third day. I serve a mighty Jesus that has Power over life and death!! I can’t help but smile today and everyday when I think about how my Savior unlocked grace and the Holy Spirit before we came to this earth! That majestic power keeps the fire alive in me!
His love and beauty is beyond measure!! That’s the only way I can describe His presence!!

I Can’t Take This Anymore!!!

Healing Hurts!!

If you can think back for a second when you were growing up and you had your baby teeth, you will remember how agitated and uncomfortable it was to have the wiggling tooth especially every time you ate or moved your tongue around. You were always reminded that it was there. Healing hurts! See we fail to realize that this nation, our health, our family, and everything and anything around us requires a little pain and agitation in order to transition to a better level. We require hardships, obstacles, standstills, and bitter seasons to learn and gain a more intimate relationship with Christ. It gets hard. People leave you. Life starts wrestling with you, but Jesus is right there calling your name. He wants to hear your voice asking him to come into your heart. He wants to hear your voice praise him even though you are hurting, asking questions, or just can’t comprehend what He is doing. Trust me, He has a plan for you. Look up, look towards the sky, and look beyond the sun because honey, we can only see so much with our physical eyes. If you could just open your spiritual eyes up to the amazing things that God has in store. It’s waiting on you! New seasons, new blessings, a new heart, and a new life more abundantly!!!!!

I love my Jesus. Don’t worry about all of this stuff in the news, don’t worry about tomorrow the bible says, even the birds don’t have to worry what and when they will eat. Jesus provides it all. He came to suffer and save!

It Only Takes a Spark!

It’s New Year’s Eve and you may be out somewhere on your way home, hanging with friends and family, or you could be at home sitting behind a computer live streaming some services like me. No matter what you are doing right now I want you to please read this post with an open heart. I’ve seen a lot of people post about how bad this year has been, but I want you to know this. It only takes a spark! It only takes a spark for your life to turn right side up or upside down. Vulnerability does come in seasons in life, but also there are times when vulnerability must come to an end. Jesus is right there with a hand reaching out to you to say, “My friend, it only takes a spark, and I am the spark in your life. I am waiting to just light your life with my presence, love, and grace like never before!” I want you to know that it only takes a spark and that spark is Jesus!! Times will get tough in our life. Life will be hard. Seasons will come where things will not be in our favor, but we have to keep going and look up, look towards the sky, and look beyond the sky. Life is too short for you to sit and allow your feelings, your mind, and negativity to just drag you through the dirt. God has so many beautiful hidden treasures within the next year that you are not aware of right now, but believe me and you I’m telling you this with so much faith, favor, and love that you will be amazed how He will turn up and turn out in 2017! Take on the New Year with faith, favor, and a spark of happiness because you just don’t know what’s ahead. Life is too short. Come on get up, get moving, and look up for guidance and rely on Jesus Christ for that spark in your life. Happy New Year and God bless 🙂

“I am Unleashing Miracles!”

God says, “I’m unleashing miracles! Sweet child look up, look to the sky, and look beyond the sun. I’m right here for you, in you, and beside you. You will not suffer for long. Your miracle is just around the corner. You are my child. This storm will soon pass. Your pain will not last long. The miracle is right next to you. Just focus on me.”

-Spreading God’s Love One Heart at a Time!