I remember it was some time ago during my first semester of college and I was just walking around the house when this small yet powerful voice came to me and said, “Do you trust me?” It really caught me off guard so bad that I stopped and just paused for a second. Then the voice came to me and said again, “Do you trust me?” I immediately knew that it was God speaking to me but it was something that I was not willing to face at that time.
When I was growing up, there were a whole lot of deaths in my family. It all started with my maternal grandmother when I was five years old. Nobody had to explain to me what death was because I already knew at such a young age. From then on aunts, uncles, cousins passed away year after year ranging in three or sometimes more throughout the years. Thank God it was not a parent or sibling because honestly I don’t know how I would have handled it. Anyways, my trust in God was at a minimum. Sadly, I trusted Him to a point and then I thought in my little mind of mine that I would take it from there. I know that was wrong now but at that time I was too afraid to trust him. I felt that if I did trust Him everything would be taken away. This was something that no one actually knew about I should have told my parents but I didn’t so I had to deal with the consequences on my own growing up. Overall, by the time I graduated from high school my trust in God was at like 5%. I was petrified of what He would do to my family. I was so afraid that He would take someone away again and I felt like I just could not let that happen to me again. That night when He asked me if I trust I knew with everything that I didn’t but I was afraid to say, “I know you are God but I don’t trust you.” So instead, I did not answer I mean this is God we are talking about not just a childhood friend deciding what yogurt to get you. So I knew that this was something I needed to face but never knew when I would face it. So that night I knew I had to work on that. That one question changed my perspective because I knew that I need to trust him.
Throughout the next three months or so, God truly taught me about trust. He would comfort me and teach me things through the verses in the bible. And the more I prayed and gave more of myself to him, the more I was starting to trust him. The more I felt safe the more I gave more and more to him. By the end of the year, my heart was on fire for Him. I could not let go of all of the awesome love that he just poured in my spirit. I would rush to my room just to spend more time with him and to pray. I would fast more to have a deeper connection. I gave him everything my all from everything I was and everything that I have. I just couldn’t resist. And now I can say that my trust in Him is overflowing like never before.
Don’t be afraid to let go. There are too many things that the devil wants to use through you to try to separate you from God. He wants you to be afraid of him. He wants you to back away from God. But God is waiting for you. He wants you to know that you can trust him. He loves you. God can comfort you and love you like no one else. You are his child. He loves you endlessly. So God says, “Will you trust me?”
Will you trust him?